Best Back to School Advice …..

Computer genii Indifference Student in college Legs of kids

Some kids love to go back to school, they have lots of friends and socialize well! They love the ritual of new sneakers and new pencils; they rebound from disappointments and defeats and learn from their mistakes, in class and on the playground. Some kids have a more difficult time. They may be shy, they may not fit in with the crowd, they may be different somehow. . . Some children hate going back to school.

We need to pay attention to our children, we need to be mindful of the ones who don’t fit in; in grade school, middle school, high school, college and beyond.

Children and adolescents who feel isolated and alienated are often lonely, sad and sometimes, angry and volatile. They all grow up. They grow up and very bad things can happen when their mental heath needs are not diagnosed and treated.

We need to make young people’s mental heath a priority, because for some, back to school is Back to Stress, Peer Pressure, Bullying and Performance Anxiety. This desire to fit in with a group doesn’t change as we get older.

If we could cheerlead our community’s mental health with as much gusto as we cheer for our sports teams, club teams and celebrities we would go a long way toward eliminating the kind of violence we have seen so much of the last few years.

Dylann Roof, Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church South Carolina, 2015. 9 dead.

Elliot Rodger, UCSB, 2014. 6 dead, 14 injured. Shooter commits suicide.

Adam Lanza- Sandy Hook, 20012. 28 dead. Shooter among the dead.

James E. Holmes-Movie theater screening Aurora, Colorado, 20012.  22 dead, 58 wounded.

Seung-Hui Cho- Virginia Tech, 2007. 32 dead. Shooter commits suicide.

“The FBI found that education environments were the second-largest location grouping for active shooters, totaling 39 incidents at K-12 and institutes of higher education from 2000 to 2013” ( Washington Post).

Maybe if someone—a teacher, a parent, an Aunt or Uncle, or family friend— had intervened; maybe if these shooters had been treated or hospitalized, this terrible legacy would never have begun. Because sometimes, those who didn’t fit in during childhood, grow up to commit atrocities as adults.

Let’s be mindful not just of ourselves, but of one another, for yes, when it comes to mental health, we are each other’s keepers.

University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB) students from various sororities hug outside a sorority house where two women were killed in the Isla Vista neighborhood of Santa Barbara, California May 27, 2014. Students at the University of California at Santa Barbara returned to campus for a "day of mourning" on Tuesday, four days after the son of a Hollywood film director killed six students in a stabbing and shooting rampage across the seaside community. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson (UNITED STATES - Tags: CRIME LAW EDUCATION)

University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB) students from various sororities hug outside a sorority house where two women were killed in the Isla Vista neighborhood of Santa Barbara, California May 27, 2014. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson (UNITED STATES – Tags: CRIME LAW EDUCATION)

More info



Today, now, for one day I can do anything.


Ah, ha! I have had an “ah, ha” moment and I wanted to share it with you in the hope that it may help you too!

It may sound simple and I’m sure you have heard it before…but I just got

“One day at a time.”

Have you really heard it, really deeply? I just did and I plan to hold on to the resounding peal of freedom it has brought to my thinking. No, I did not go to a meeting, no I do not belong to AA or OA or NA, though they all got it a long time ago, if they work their program.

Ok, let’s get to it. I have a really busy life with its fair share of stress, ranging from teenagers, my grad school demands, paying bills, relationships, and on and on. I’m no different than many modern parents and yet……I kept circling back in my mind, trying to wrestle solutions forward into my life, that don’t need to be achieved TODAY.

Even while working on one issue, I would be positing all the possible solutions to my problems, my kids problems, my family problems my financial challenges, health problems and more, all at the same time, jumping from one to the other trying to chart the best course of action in all cases. I want to help my family and myself get the most out of life and have the best experiences possible. Every mother does, well most mothers do, well I do.

I don’t know what angel whispered in my ear to change course, but this former path left me exhausted and stressed and worried, always worried. Actually, I think it was last weekend with my family. Due to a number of long circumstances that I won’t bore you with, I realized that I had to make some changes in my life. If I don’t want back pain the most pro-active thing I can do is lose weight and get in better shape. If my back doesn’t have to support so much weight, it may feel better and if my abs do half the work, that may help too. Sounds simple until…… you realize, “Oh God, I have to go on a diet.” I love food and wine…………….. Dang it.

I had made a list of all the readings, papers and projects I had to prepare by the end of the grad quarter. It was long. But I thought, well I can only get done in a day what I can get done, the rest will roll over into tomorrow, which when I get there- will be that today….or now.

This was leading to what I’m studying in Grad School- the Eternal Now… that all we have is Now, the past is gone the future doesn’t exist. Simple, you say. Yes of course all we have is now…. but really think about it. Today is now. I can do anything for one day. Today.

I can do, or follow up and take care of what must be done Today.

I can go to the gym for One day.

I can eat healthy food for One day.

I can do my reading for One day.

WOW. By breaking it all down, ALL OF IT into One day, today, now… I can focus on what must be done today. What doesn’t have to be done today, or the problem that can’t be solved today (because law school is in the fall, tuition is in the fall, the deadlines for scholarships are not TODAY) those will fall to another day, another today, but not now.

This realization has magically transformed my thinking. It doesn’t mean that I won’t spend some productive time planning or thinking about the future, but I will spend more time in the now and focus on each day as it is and with what can be done.

I can do anything for one day, after all one day is a very short time to be on a nutritional and exercise plan.  I am going to seriously work on taking life one day at a time, and live in the now. Every day I wake up and say, I can go to the gym for one day, today is only one day . Get the idea?

A thousand pounds of worry and “what if” just dropped off my back, won’t you join me?